


Overthinking

by Anonymous



Category: Homestuck
Genre: F/F, Insomnia, Masturbation, Overthinking, mentions of catholicism
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-29
Updated: 2020-05-29
Packaged: 2021-03-03 04:21:11
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 922
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24438856
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: Rose has some trouble falling asleep.
Relationships: Rose Lalonde/Her Own Hand, Rose Lalonde/Kanaya Maryam (desired), Rose Lalonde/Thinking Too Much
Kudos: 28
Collections: Anonymous





	Overthinking

**Author's Note:**

> Entirely written either late at night or while sleep deprived. Unbeta'd and barely even read over, so please let me know if you catch any errors.

Rose wishes, not for the first time, that she didn't have feelings for Kanaya. They're different species, which isn't a problem ethically, but for all she knows it's impossible for a troll to be attracted to a human, let alone the issue of fundamental differences in romance (which Kanaya has very kindly been teaching Rose about). Furthermore, Kanaya has been an excellent friend and companion on this tiny rock, and she doesn't want to jeopardize their current relationship for a mere chance at something more. She sighs, and resolves to worry about it after she sleeps, because it's been about twenty hours, by Dave's very accurate clock, since she last subjected herself to the dream bubbles. Well, at least they aren't all bad, she tells herself, but it is somewhat discomforting know one runs the risk if being confronted by legions of dead alternate selves every REM cycle. Rose hits the light switch and heads to her bed.

Her room is very dark with the lights off, which is how she likes it. Rose can See into infrared and ultraviolet, now, so this way she has a bit of a tactical advantage. Not that she necessarily needs it, but it makes her feel better to know that she could See the body heat of, say, the resident murder-clown, far before he saw her.

The fact that she’s thinking about Gamzee at all means this probably won’t be a night (not that “night” means anything while careening through the space between universes on a meteor-lab) where she falls asleep easily. 

She stares up at the barely-visible ceiling. She can barely make out the ducts that connect to the next rooms. Dave’s to the right, and Kanaya’s to the left. (The complex is big enough for each of them to have a whole hall of rooms if they wanted, but it was quickly discovered that that was incredibly lonely, and eventually everyone migrated here.)

Rose mulls over her predicament. She’s too tired to get up, but in the wrong state, mentally speaking, to fall asleep immediately. The simplest solution is to slip a hand into her alchemized squiddle-print pajama pants, then. It’s the best soporific she knows, aside from melatonin itself, and she hasn’t figured out how to alchemize that. The grist cost would probably be absurdly high, anyway.

She’s very lucky she’s naturally quiet, Rose thinks. If she weren’t, god knows how she’d ever get off. Despite the meteor’s size, privacy is shockingly hard to come by when one actually wants it (no thanks to the dynamic duo of Vriska and Terezi), and sound echoes seemingly forever along endless metal corridors.

She rubs circles through her underwear, and tries to clear her mind, with moderate success. Her treacherous mind brings Kanaya to the forefront, and no amount of mental pleading to please just focus on the sensation and avoid making things emotionally complex at this hour will make the thought go away. Like a pink elephant, she thinks. The heart, she supposes, or id in this case, wants what it wants. 

Rose wonders what it would feel like to have Kanaya’s hands on her instead of her own. They’re longer than her own, and the texture of troll skin is, while not as chitinous as might be expected from a species with such a similarity to Earth insects, somewhat alienated from a truly human feeling. Kanaya’s fingers are also longer than her own, and she tries to picture the feeling of having them inside her. Finally, Rose is relaxing a little. She spares a thought to rejoice at the development, and returns to the task at hand, pressing slightly harder and changing up the pattern. If she focuses her Sight on her groin, she can see the heat from the increased bloodflow, which is more arousing than she would like to admit. It's an interesting experience, to see the effects of stimulation in this way. She doesn't know much about troll anatomy, but she would very much like to find out where Kanaya's blood would go—wait, does she even have blood any more? There’s definitely something circulating, but she is a vampire, so this is uncharted territory. Rose wants to know, now, but she has no idea how to ask without sounding weird. 

Damn, distracted again. She casts about for something to focus on, and remembers the powerful feeling of going grimdark, of having the power to level islands without much more than a thought, of destroying part of this game that ruined her life, which is not something she expected she would enjoy thinking about while masturbating, but, well, she's hardly complaining right now. So long as she gets to sleep afterwards. (Worrying about the morality of one's private thoughts is best left to the devoutly Catholic Past Rose.)

Deliriously, she ponders whether Kanaya might consent to be held down by the manifested horrorterror tentacles of Grimdark Rose, and decides that this is pretty unlikely, even if her feelings are reciprocated. This train of thought serves absolutely no purpose other than to distract her again, but she’s close enough to both orgasm and sleep that she finally loses coherent thought in favor of grinding mindlessly into her hand. 

Rose reaches orgasm with a nearly inaudible gasp, and before falling asleep, resolves to find a way to ask Kanaya about her blood-having status when she wakes. She forgets, of course, until she’s in bed the next night, but maybe that’s for the better. It is kind of a weird thing to ask.

**Author's Note:**

> Eventually:  
> TT: By the way, do you have blood?  
> GA: What Of Course I Have Blood  
> GA: Why Do You Ask  
> GA: What Does My Potential Possession Of Blood Have To Do With You


End file.
